every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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