Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
where are my eyebrows?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
