I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
