kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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