I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
