She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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