Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We need to rekindle our bromance
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
