No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
