Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
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