I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
