nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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