Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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