so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
