love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
