When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
