my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
