? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
