How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
