I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
im six kinds of drunk right now
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
