sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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