Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
