he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
