do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize