Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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