He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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