Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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