The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
