how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm just crazy horny about you
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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