i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Let's get the cat blown out
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