We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
