Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
