grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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