I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
