You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
