Sponge bath it is.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize