I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
