I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
