i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
