Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
