before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
