He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize