YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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