dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
