Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize