I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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