at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize