Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
