Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
