last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize