My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am naked and annoyed.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize