I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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