those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Randomize
