When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize