so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I look better un-naked...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We got so high we made milksteak
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I touched a dick in church today
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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