I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
