I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
ttyl tear gas
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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