its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
