if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
