I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
