There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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