Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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