Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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