I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize