real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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