No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
