yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
