would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
