had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
