i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize