it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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