i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
