Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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