So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
