24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
