Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize