I feel like I'm in dance class right now
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
