I wish I only lived at night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
